How did we end up here?

In 2nd grade, it was such a joy to hand out Valentine’s to all the kids in the class, and receive cute cards and candy hearts in return.

And now?

“Valentine’s Day is stupid.”

“It’s just a consumeristic, made-up holiday to get people to feel bad and spend money.”

“It’s pathetic if you need to be reminded once a year to show love to your partner.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Perhaps it’s because I like every reason possible to celebrate, and am always reminding my clients and loved ones to celebrate their successes, small and large, but I think that Valentine’s Day can be a helpful reminder to prioritize connection, love, and fun.

And I am far from a hopeless romantic.

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash — Man hanging onto a red heart for Valentine’s Day. — Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash — Man hanging onto a red heart for Valentine’s Day.

What is there to celebrate?

An evening with close girlfriends and an appreciation of their support and laughter
A night alone to indulge in your favorite dessert and that fiction book that’s been sitting bedside since the fall
Sharing the top 5 things you love about each other to your partner, then feeling all the good feels
Smiling and offering an unexpected word of kindness to a stranger, and then moving on
Masturbating to a new fantasy or with a new toy
A night of sensual intimacy and sexual exploration with another
The fact that same-sex couples are able to more safely and publicly experience and express their love

It doesn’t matter what others say Valentine’s Day should be, or how ubiquitous all of the commercials are for diamond jewelry and the restaurants with their pricey 5-course meals. You get to make it what you want, whether alone or with others.

The celebration of love – open-hearted, kindness, and connection with ourselves and other humans – is always something to be prioritized. And if once a year we need a little reminder to put down our phones and technology, and be present in self-enjoyment or quality time with others, then I’m all in!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Keynote Speaker, Sociologist, & Intimacy Coach