Kissing is often how we initially assess sexual chemistry with a new person.

And kissing is how we can maintain sensuality and intimacy in a long-term relationship.

But over the 16 years of my private coaching practice with individuals and couples, so many times I’ve heard from couples that they don’t kiss anymore. Why? Because one of them does not like how the other one kisses. Maybe it’s too wet, messy, fast, or timid.

They couldn’t figure out how to work through their kissing concern so they just gave up on kissing.

It’s funny how simple yet meaningful kissing can be, but like most aspects of relationships, intimacy, and sex, we never learn how to do it well and how to stay present and connect with our partners while kissing.

This article by Well + Good dives into many aspects of kissing — the neurochemicals behind why it feels good, 19 different kinds of kissing, and ways your can improve your kissing skills and connection.

Here are some quotes from the article, based on what I shared as an intimacy expert:

“The lips are an erogenous zone, so interacting with them lights up the part of the brain that registers arousal and pleasure, she says. In fact, ‘The act of kissing can release feel-good neuro-chemicals like oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine,’ says Jenn Gunsaullus, PhD, sexologist and sex coach, and author of From Madness to Mindfulness: Reinvesting Sex For Women. (BTW: These are the same feel-good chemicals released when you cum).”

“Kissing can also be a tool to strengthen the emotional, physical, sexual and/or romantic bond that people feel for one another, notes Dr. Gunsaullus. On the sexual pleasure front, it can be used as a prelude to other types of pleasure (read: intercourse). Or, kissing can be the whole meat and potatoes, she says. ‘It is also a way of assessing sexual compatibility with someone,’ notes Dr. Gunsaullus. If you’ve ever heard someone report that a kiss felt like kissing their sibling, it’s because they learned that the sexual compatibility between them was hovering around zero. Hey, less of a bummer to find out today than when you’re rolling in the hay!”

To learn many more details, you can read the entire article here: 19 Types of Kissing - Why, What, & How.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus — Intimacy Speaker, Sexologist, Sociologist, & Relationship Coach