Cheating Vs. Open Relationships

With the recent hacking of private information on the Ashley Madison extramarital affair dating site, I think it's important to ask why we place monogamy in such high regard, yet have such high rates of cheating? I discussed the topics of non-monogamy, open relationships, boundaries, communication, and what's possible on San Diego Living with Marc Bailey. I'm so happy I was able to at least scratch the surface of this controversial topic on the morning news!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, Sexologist, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker

Summer Lovin' - Quick Guide to Summer Romance

Summer loving had me a blast,

Summer loving happened so fast,

I met a girl crazy for me,

Met a boy cute as can be...

What is it about summer time that seems to make us feel more romantic? San Diego Living (Ch. 6) brought me in to discuss this as we launch into summer time. Is it the warmer days? Longer daylight? Less clothing? Nostalgic feelings? All of the above! I also share some tips about harnassing the sensual feeling of summer to ignite your summer romance.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexuality Speaker, Sexologist, & Sociologist

4 Tips to Avoid a Vacation from Hell

Yeah - a romantic vacation! It means time away from work with your partner. But will it be a relaxing trip by the pool? Or an outdoor adventure? Or an exploration of art museums and architecture? There are several important factors that need to be discussed ahead of time with you partner, to make sure you're on the same page, or at the least that you understand your partner's expectations and perspective.

I discussed this topic with Marc Bailey on Channel 6's San Diego Living, coincidentally days before his upcoming vacation to Alaska with his wife. Happy travels!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker, Sociologist

Does Watching Sports make your relationship Better or Worse?

With the start of baseball season and the San Diego Padres home opener, I spoke with Marc Bailey on San Diego Living about the impact watching sports can have on someone's serious relationships. Baseball sex analogies aside, sports do have a wonderful potential to bring couples closer together. However, they can also put a wedge of resentment in a relationship. I discuss what to do to make sure watching sports doesn't jeopardize your relationship.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker, Sex Sociologist

Why "Positive" Media Matters AND I'm on a Billboard, How Friggin' Cool is That?!

Have you heard of “positive” media? Probably not. But I’m sure you’ve experienced negative media, which we’re bombarded with every day, and makes us passive, distrustful, and anxious. Most media and advertising defines our reality with narrow versions of beauty, success, and happiness. And things like violence and sex appeal are used to grab our attentions, while stereotypes help maintain the status quo.

Positive media is media that promotes well-being and empowerment, and builds respect.1 It is media or advertising that encourages you to feel good about yourself or to feel compassion for others. The term positive media makes sense when you consider that the purpose of a lot of media and advertising is to evoke your fears or insecurities so you’ll consume the product being sold.

I recently attended the 5th annual Wisdom 2.0 Conference in San Francisco. This conference drew progressive individuals from around the world to explore mindfulness and awareness in the digital age, and consider how we can all cultivate greater compassion. Inspiration Campaign, a non-profit that inspires people to create people-powered advertising, was promoting their work and taking photos of attendees posing with signs touting their own personal positive media messages.

I love things like that! Immediately I knew the message I would pose with: We are ALL in this TOGETHER. That was the vibe I felt and loved about the conference, as well as the mantra that keeps me on track daily with my values. I also happened to be wearing my “Inspire Love” tshirt I had made several years ago, and I appreciated the coincidental double messaging around love, awareness, and compassion!

“We are all in this together” refers to my belief that as humans, we all want the same basic things: to be seen, heard, respected, and loved. Wanting to be acknowledged in such ways, though, makes us vulnerable. And feeling vulnerable can be a scary feeling, so we put up all sorts of facades to pretend we’re not vulnerable and defensive reactions to not feel the pain. This makes us hide from what we really want. It can also make us less compassionate to the needs of others, who just want to be seen, heard, respected, and loved too. I prominently see this is the news regarding race relations, gay rights, or reproductive rights. However, there are many more places this is relevant that might not make it to our radars, such as discussions around people with disabilities, homeless people, or trans-identified individuals.

When I remember that we are all in this together, it helps me get my head out of my own ass. It helps me shift from fear, defensiveness, anger, or disconnect, to a place of open-mindedness and compassion. And that helps me inspire love.

What does the “THIS” mean to you, in “We are all in this together”? How do you think we're all linked, or what helps you be more compassionate to others? What are your ideas about how we could do things differently? Please tweet, take a photo, or make a video, and let me know! (And tag me @drjennsden and/or use the hashtags #THISMeans #AllTogether #PositiveMedia.)

1 Definition from Meghan B. Keener’s work: http://repository.upenn.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1030&context=mapp_capstone

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sexual Health Speaker, Sociologist

What Country has the Most Romantic Lovers?

Since we're encouraged to "Kiss me, I'm Irish," does that mean the Irish are particularly good lovers or more romantic? I tackle this topic on the San Diego Living morning news with Marc Bailey, as we delve into different cultures around the world and their versions of love, romance, and sensuality. It's a relatively superficial discussion, but we do touch on the sociologically fact that our versions of love and romance are created by the culture and country in which we're raised. And if we don't like them, why not consider how others do it?!

Watch the video clip HERE.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus -- San Diego Sexologist, Sexual Health Speaker, Sex Sociologist