When should you listen to and act on your intuition? And when will it lead you astray?

Have these thoughts ever gone through your mind or have you heard others say them?

“I know I’m struggling with finances right now, but my intuition told me I should buy it.”

“I like this guru. My gut tells me to trust him.”

“I just know that group of people is causing trouble and should not be trusted.”

“My intuition tells me those public health leaders are lying to us.”

What is intuition?

Intuition is a sense of knowing the truth about something, or the ability to understand something, not based on logical deduction or reasoning.

My understanding of intuition is that it is a different kind of knowledge, when our brain pulls seemingly disparate bits of information from over our lifetime, and coalesces immediately to understand something. There can be little everyday intuitions and “understandings” of people or situations, or larger experiences of knowing that feel like a truth bomb.

It is invaluable to listen to and reflect on those intuitions. They give you insight into what matters to you, your values, and best choices. It can be a “whole brain” kind of knowing that gives you access to making choices that are right for you.

But intuition – that deep feeling of knowing the truth about something – can lead us astray if we haven’t done the deep work of studying our patterns, needs, insecurities, and childhood traumas.

Why?

Our fears can show up as a deep “knowing.”

Repeated messages from family or peers into how to view other groups of people can show up as a deep “knowing.”

Situations and people who remind us of our childhood traumas can show up as a deep “knowing.”

Our need to prove something about ourselves to others can show up as a deep “knowing” or “truth.”

These are your truths in those moments, but that does not mean they are Truths with a capital T.

This is why listening to those intuitions is an invaluable doorway into your patterns of behavior that are based in how you’ve been hurt in the past or how your brain has been trained by the beliefs of others. But acting on those beliefs as your truth means you will continue to live from and in your wounds. This is how the past will continue to predict and create your future. And this blocks the capacity to break from past programming, and experience new growth and ways of interacting with others.

In the long run, it can be very harmful to you, and quite harmful to others.

There are two sets of skills that can aid you in the journey of differentiating between intuition and patterns or fears: mindfulness and critical thinking.

The following questions merge mindfulness and critical thinking, and can guide you in developing your intuition to better serve you.

Am I trying to prove something here? To whom and why?
Am I being reactive and resentful, instead of listening and staying present with the discomfort of conflicting messages?
Do my fears and insecurities breed this “knowing”?
Am I just giving myself an “excuse” for this behavior or action?
Am I speaking or writing on this topic because I need to feel smart or in control?

None of these questions are intended to lead you to beating yourself up mentally. The hope is that they will give you a moment to pause instead of just react. They will give you a chance to acknowledge your emotional response, and still be able to consider and weigh the information you’re hearing.

We are continually bombarded with information and emotions from inside us and outside us. Taking the time to train our brains to be more mindful with how we interact with this information and emotions is a path to greater responsibility and respect for ourselves and others.

(If you want to learn about my personal understanding of how I differentiate intuition from patterns, here’s an older blog post on Don’t Trust Your Intuition.)

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sociologist, Intimacy Coach, & Keynote Speaker