What is the “Cheez-It” Threshold in Your Relationship?

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What is the “Cheez-It” Threshold in Your Relationship?

I’m generally a healthy eater. I’m a vegetarian, I ask for the side salad instead of fries, the fruit instead of the breakfast potatoes. But sometimes I don’t. I’ll order the fries and the potatoes and then dessert too, if I’m out celebrating something with a friend or family member (and I love finding reasons to celebrate). And sometimes I don’t realize that I’ve been using my “I deserve this, I’ve been working hard,” excuse…

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What if you "Compassion It" as often as you "Google It"?

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What if you "Compassion It" as often as you "Google It"?

I’m lucky enough to be friends and colleagues with Sara Schairer, the founder of a nonprofit called Compassion It. We live close enough to each other in the beach towns of San Diego that I can ride my bike to brunches, wine evenings, and brainstorming work meetings with her. She recently gave a TEDx Talk…

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What if Men’s Sexual Empathy Was the Default Instead of Our Moral Judgment of Women?

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What if Men’s Sexual Empathy Was the Default Instead of Our Moral Judgment of Women?

I was recently listening to one of my favorite podcasts — This American Life — where they interviewed the original researcher who studied the incidence of sexual aggression on college campuses in the 1970s and 1980s. Mary Koss, PhD, was the first to study this topic through the lens of detailed behavioral questions. For example, when asking, “Have you been raped?”…

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Sexual Role Play – Two Suggestions for Overcoming Difficulties

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Sexual Role Play – Two Suggestions for Overcoming Difficulties

“We want to try role-playing to spice up our sex life, but I think I’ll just laugh the whole time and feel silly.” “We’ve tried sexual role-playing but my partner kept getting caught up in the details and getting distracted.” Sexual role-playing is a way to bring a new energy of creativity and spontaneity to your sex life. You give yourself and your partner permission to try on a new skin and “be” someone else…

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Introducing the New Sexuality Studies 4th Edition

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Introducing the New Sexuality Studies 4th Edition

I’m happy to announce that Introducing the New Sexuality Studies 4th Edition has just been published through Routledge, and I contributed one of the original essays for this college reader. This is a description of the book from the publisher’s website…

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A Dad's Letter to his 18-Year-Old Son

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A Dad's Letter to his 18-Year-Old Son

With 2022 high school graduations upon us, I wanted to share a letter that my friend Clint August wrote to his son recently, when his son turned 18 years old. Clint is my co-host on our Sex Talk with Clint & the Doc podcast, and a well-known San Diego on-air radio personality. I’m happy I get to call him a friend, and his dedication to his role as a father comes through with an abundance of love in this letter.

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