The Mindfulness Movie in San Diego! Fundraiser for Jeans 4 Justice

Purchase Mindfulness Movie tickets as San Diego fundraiser.

There is something we can do for as little as 8 minutes a day that will change our lives. That something is called MINDFULNESS, and I am hosting a movie fundraiser about this powerful practice. Mindfulness is simple in its concept, but difficult in its practice. Yet we can all learn to do it, and 35 of the leading experts in the field will help us out.

As a member of the Board of Directors for Jeans 4 Justice, I am hosting a showing of The Mindfuness Movie and a post-movie panel discussion. All ticket sales benefit Jeans 4 Justice, a San Diego-based nonprofit dedicated to preventing sexual and relationship violence before it happens. Their programs help youth and young adults create compassionate relationships and skills to handle negative emotions in a healthy manner. 

Here is a synopsis of The Mindfulness Movie. Full Life. Less Strife:

Experts agree. We don’t experience reality as it really is. We perceive it through a filter that allows us to see only what we’ve been conditioned to see. That’s because we’ve become trapped in the neurobiology of our own brains. As we grow older our actions and reactions become conditioned by our hopes, intentions, anxieties, motivations, loves, hates, desires, fears or frustrations. Eventually we become stuck in these patterns and live our lives on autopilot.

Join us on a journey with a group of 35 world-renowned authors and experts in neuroscience, psychiatry, relationships, sports psychology and quantum physics. Learn an ancient technique that is rapidly becoming embraced by modern science called Mindfulness.

EVENT DETAILS

Date: Friday, December 6, 2013 

Time: 8pm - 10pm, doors open at 7:30pm 

Price: $15

Place: AMN Healthcare, 12400 High Bluff Drive, San Diego, CA 92130 (Free parking in parking garage next to building – park in visitor or unmarked spots.)

Purchase tickets online ahead of time HERE.

Post-film Panel Discussion with local mindfulness professionals:
Steven Alper, LCSW – METTA Training and Consulting
Craig Lambert, LCSW – Craig Lambert Couples Therapy
Sara Schairer - Compassion It
Jennifer Gunsaullus, PhD – Dr. Jenn’s Den

We appreciate our generous venue sponsor AMN Healthcare!

 

Inspiring Quotes from Brene Brown's book "The Gifts of Imperfection"

Have you read this book yet? The Gifts of Imperfection, by Brene Brown? I can't recommend it enough if you have any struggles around vulnerability, worthiness, authenticity, shame, doubt, or "shoulds" in life. Her approach is a beautiful mix of academic research, personal insights, and humor. Here are some of my favorite inspiring quotes from her book:

“Courage sounds great, but we need to talk about how it requires us to let go of what other people think, and for most of us, that’s scary.” (5)

“Shame loves secrecy. The most dangerous thing to do after a shaming experience is hide or bury our story.” (10)

“I realized that only one thing separated the men and women who felt a deep sense of love and belonging from the people who seem to be struggling for it. That one thing is the belief in their worthiness.” (23)

“The majority of shame researchers and clinicians agree that the difference between shame and guilt is best understood as the differences between 'I am bad' and 'I did something bad.'” (41)

“It reminds me that our imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together. Imperfectly, but together.” (61)

“But this work has forced me to see that it’s our fear of the unknown and our fear of being wrong that create most of our conflict and anxiety.” (90)

“We convince ourselves that if we stay busy enough and keep moving, reality won’t be able to keep up.” (108)

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sociologist, Sexologist, Sexuality & Mindfulness Speaker

Loving Kindness Meditation - Free Guided Visualization by Dr. Jenn to Open Your Heart

Do you live with an open heart or a protected heart? If you've been emotionally hurt before, it makes sense to want to protect yourself from future hurt. This may be a good short term strategy, but in the long run your life will be devoid of the deep connections and intimacy you desire.

A wonderful practice to cultivate a loving and kind approach to yourself and others, is the Loving Kindness Meditation. I recorded an 8-minute guided meditation to assist you in opening your heart. This is also a powerful practice in mindfulness. Read more and listen to the free audio file here: Loving Kindness Meditation with Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sexologist, Sexuality & Mindfulness Speaker, Sociologist

Compassion It! The new social movement you'll want to join

Does it matter to you if you’re a good person? If so, you’ve probably noticed how good it feels to cultivate such compassion. Nonetheless, in our me-centered society, I think folks struggle with understanding what compassion means in their interactions with others and with themselves. If you’d like to increase the role of compassion in your life, I have a handy suggestion below!

First, what exactly are we talking about here…what's a good definition of compassion? I like this definition of compassion from free dictionary: “Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.” So it’s not sympathy, nor pity. It’s empathy and wanting to be of service. Self-compassion is a bit trickier to define. Consider your inner thoughts and how they become focused at times on your perceived failures or flaws. Self-compassion is making a choice to give yourself a break, accept you’re human, and focus on positive feelings towards yourself. Whether towards yourself or others, choosing compassion is a gift to the world.

Would you like to be more compassionate? Check out the bracelet reminder in the photo here. Start your day with your bracelet turned to the dark side. When you specifically do a compassionate act that day, you flip your bracelet to the white side. This is designed to raise awareness around being more compassionate to others. But with the amount of mental berating I see with my clients and friends, I think using it for self-compassion may be important too. The creators of Compassion It thought of that too, and there is now a red/white version of the bracelet specifically as a reminder for self-compassion!

I started wearing my Compassion It bracelet about three weeks ago (and by the way, if you haven’t said “Compassion It” out loud yet, you might not get how clever that name is!). I like to think of myself as a kind, caring person as I move through my day, from clients to loved ones. However, I found it harder than expected to find an opportunity to go out of my way or do something I wouldn’t normally do. This little bracelet has already changed the way I move through my day, and how I can stretch my awareness to be empathetic and kind in new ways. Imagine if everyone took this on?

The cool thing too is that when you purchase a bracelet, it comes with a second one. The intention is that your first compassionate act is already built in when you gift your second bracelet to someone else. Clever! Actually, I think everything about Compassion It is damn clever, and I’m excited that the founder, compassion teacher Sara Schairer, lives here in San Diego. We’re lucky to have this creative mind and teacher here. :)

For yourself, a friend, a stranger, or fundraising for your cause, you can join the social movement for compassion here:

Compassion It. Website

Compassion It. Facebook

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sexologist, Sociologist, Sexuality & Mindfulness Speaker

Why We Suck with Personal Growth at First

In 9th grade, I was bumped up from the 9th grade basketball team to the junior varsity team. This was a big honor. It also meant I was held to a higher standard of skills and techniques. I had always had a decent outside shot and was a good free throw shooter. But somewhere along the way I learned to shoot with two hands - a hand evenly placed on each side of the ball. This is not the proper way to shoot for best angle of release, velocity, and trajectory of ball.

Over winter break, my coaches "forced" me to start shooting the proper way, with one hand in front of me and the other gently supporting the side of the ball. This did not feel good and I was continually missing baskets. I recall a contest where we were divided into two teams to compete making free throws under pressure, and I felt responsible for my team losing. I was frustated with my lack of skils and irritated with my coaches for making me "fix" something that I didn't think was broken.

It's not unusal in the personal growth process for things to get worse before they get better. When we break our old patterns and less-than-evolved ways of doing things, we struggle. It's difficult to choose to struggle when we want to just go back to our old comfortable ways. We have to trust that the new, more nuanced way will serve us in the long run.

I know it was worth it. I was willing to stick through the discomfort and embarrassment of shooting poorly and feeling like I was letting my teammates down. After a few weeks of practicing the new way of shooting, my accuracy had improved tremendously. The more I practiced the better I got. And so goes personal growth.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker, Sexologist

Singles Awareness Day - February 15

Is Singles Awareness Day just a silly day, to make fun of Valentine's Day and its emphasis on coupledom? Or is it a legitimate reason to celebrate being single and help folks feel better the day after Valentine's Day? I'm guessing that it started as a joke (this day's acronym is S.A.D., afterall), but I think there's actually a lot of value in recognizing this topic.

We learn to put great emphasis on being in a relationship, and that this form of expression completes us. While relationships can be amazing, the good ones take a lot of work and perseverence, and sometimes bring out the worst in us. If you notice that you're feeling down because you wish you had a significant other, take a bit of time to feel that sadness, but don't get stuck in the wallowing. Don't overlook the benefits of being single. Make sure you are prioritizing taking care of yourself, something that is often easier to do when single. Being single is a great opportunity to focus on your purpose and mission in life, your personal growth, and what personally lights you up.

For example, on a day like Singles Awareness Day, or ANY day that you want to take care of yourself, create opportunities to learn new things, challenge yourself, surround yourself with friends, and just have fun. For example, take an art class that has always interested you, join an adult sports league, take a language class, or invite a few friends over for a wine or beer tasting. These are ways to feel like you're in control of your life, while doing something you enjoy and sharing time with others. Also, write a love letter to yourself, describing all your strengths and what you appreciate about you. Treat yourself in a romantic way, just like you would someone else. I have no doubt you deserve it.

The bottom line? Don't wait for things to happen - make something happen! And appreciate every stage and step in life.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sexologist, Sex Coach, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker