Does Sexual Experience Matter? Sex Talk w/ Real Deal Girl's Project
/As the new "sexpert" for the Real Deal Girl's Project*, I'll be answering sex-related questions posed by young women, for #SexTalkSaturday on Facebook! Here's my first one:
Dear Dr. Jenn,
My partner is much more sexually experienced than me and I'm embarrassed. How do I tell them?
We all have to start somewhere! Which means at one point, all of us had no sexual experience, and had to learn through personal experience and trial and error. And not to be blunt, but your partner can probably tell that you don’t have much experience! But they still choose to be with you no matter your sexual experience level. This is what's important.
The best path to overcoming embarrassment is to be humble and ask for guidance in what turns them on and how they like to be touched. A simple: “Show me what you like,” or “Does this feel good?” can go a long way. Try to shift your mindset from “not being good enough” to “exploring and learning.” Exploring means that you’re admitting that it’s new to you, but you’re also curious and open, and not letting fear get in the way.
Even a person who has a ton of sexual experience, should never assume that they know the specific turn-ons of the person in front of them, so asking questions and being open is always the best path. That’s actually one of the keys to being good in bed, so this is a great opportunity for you to start learning that skill now! Good luck!
*The Real Deal Girl’s Project is a virtual community of young women looking to develop authentic and meaningful connections…without the pressure to be perfect.
Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker, & Sociologist