Authenticity and vulnerability. We’ve learned that these are good things, yes? According to researcher and author Brene Brown, folks who cultivate these characteristics are able to live happier, more connected, and more satisfying lives. So why am I calling “bullshit” on vulnerability and authenticity right now?

Because these traits have become commercialized and commodified to some extent on social media platforms. For example, a content creator on Instagram might post a photo of a part of her body that is considered conventionally “unflattering” — cellulite on her thighs or a belly with stretchmarks and hanging fat — knowing that she will receive a high number of positive comments and likes. Which I absolutely do believe is a positive advancement in body positivity and self-love for women. But it can also be manipulative, self-serving, and misleading in the realm of vulnerable and authentic expression.

I’ve been thinking about these topics a lot in the past few months and thanks to Sara Eckhardt and her new Sunrise with Sara podcast, I was able to speak about it publicly for the first time. We hash out different motivations behind vulnerable social media posts — and which ones might be more “authentic” than others. And Sara asks me the challenging questions: How can you tell the difference between authenticity and inauthenticity in your posts and the posts of others, and how can we all do better?

You can listen to Sunrise with Sara on your podcasting app or watch the video version on YouTube below.

-Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus — San Diego Sexologist, Intimacy Speaker, & Sociologist