Expert tips for enhancing sexual desire in long-term relationships

Why does desire often fade in long-term relationships?

What gets in the way of feeling sexual desire towards your partner in a long-term relationship or marriage (even when you still find them attractive)?

And what are tips to cultivate more sexual desire?

I sat down (over Zoom) with Sarah Regan at mindbodygreen to talk through all of these questions and get into the nitty gritty of sexual desire. There are a lot of misunderstandings around desire, pleasure, and needs, and I offered 5 tips to help couples move through sexual desire concerns and work more as a team on their sexual fulfillment and physical connection.

You can read the entire article here: Want To Up The Sexual Desire In Your Relationship? Try These Expert-Approved Tips.

But here are a few of the messages I conveyed that Sarah penned for this article:

“‘Low-desire people often feel guilty or like they're broken, and then higher-desire people feel rejected and unwanted and undesired,’ Gunsaullus tells mindbodygreen, adding, ‘So just being able to call out those feelings and know that you haven't done anything wrong—this is a very normal thing that happens to many folks in long-term relationships.’”

“If ‘scheduling’ doesn't sound very sexy to you, keep in mind that spontaneity doesn't always bode well for lower-desire people, according to Gunsaullus. ‘They're more responsive to creating a context, you know, an environment and a connection that helps facilitate arousal and desire,’ she explains.”

“If you're on the shyer side, we're not gonna pretend like it isn't a little awkward to talk about your fantasies or sexual desires. But as Gunsaullus tells mindbodygreen, pushing through that awkwardness will only help your partner understand how to please you and vice versa.”

Read about all 5 tips for sexual desire here!

-Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus — Intimacy Speaker, Relationship Coach, & Sociologist