Vulva Activism hits Las Vegas

There is something rather disturbing brewing around women's vulvas these days. More and more nude photos and pornographic depictions of women airbrush away the woman's natural labia. More and more doctors are offering labiaplasty surgery for women to reduce the size of their external genitalia. And more and more women are opting for the surgery to please their partners and feel better about the appearance of their genitals.

Hmm...there seems to be a link between all of these. And it's certainly not based on women knowing their bodies, knowing what is natural and normal, and appreciating the variety and beauty of vulvas.

In protest of this and to provide education to the contrary, the New View Campaign, an organization to challenge the medicalization of sex and women's bodies, is offering a one day conference in Las Vegas this Sunday! Two of the featured guests are Nick and Sayaka Karras, who have created the wonderful Petals project to expose women to the beauty and uniqueness of each vulva. I am looking forward to attending and meeting like-minded women and learning the latest quantitative and qualitative research on this upsetting topic.

If you'd like to learn more about the conference, visit HERE.

To read a wonderful article on the Ms. Blog about it, click HERE.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

Love Your Body Day 2009 - San Diego Press Release

Love Your Body Day Expo Educates Women About Body Image and Holistic Health

San Diego, CA—October 7. A Love Your Body Day event will take place in a Little Italy wine bar and offer a San Diego flair to this national day. Celebrating women, health, and appreciating deeper beauty, the expo on Thursday, October 22, runs 5-8pm at Tango Wine Company (2161 India Street). Local female professionals who specialize in health, fitness, and well being coming from a variety of perspectives will be on hand to teach, offer resources, and entertain.

The NOW (National Organization for Women) Foundation’s Women’s Health Project launched the Love Your Body Day campaign in 1998. This day formed as a national day of action to speak out against advertisements and images of women that are harmful, offensive, and demeaning. Each year on Love Your Body Day women around the country say “no” to twisted beauty standards and hazardous advertisements by holding rallies, speakers, house parties, classroom discussions and more.

This San Diego celebration of Love Your Body Day is a free event to proactively encourage women to honor and appreciate their bodies. Education, activities, and healthy snacks will be available from practitioners addressing women’s holistic health and well being, including nutrition, sex & intimacy counseling, massage, expressive arts therapy, dance, yoga, and acupuncture.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, PhD, a sociologist who works as a relationship & intimacy counselor is spearheading this event. To learn more about the event, visit: www.drjennsden.com/LoveYourBodyDay2009. To contact Dr. Jenn, call 858-880-5944 or email Jennifer@drjennsden.com.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

Being Naked & Body-Image

I took off my sunglasses and beach skirt. I then removed my bathing suit and placed in on a picnic table. I walked to the edge of the water, stepped over the wall, and lowered myself into the pond. All the while, I was pretending I wasn’t self-conscious about walking naked in public in the bright afternoon sun. Of course I'm used to walking around naked, comfortable in my body in front of strangers and friends. Who isn't?! At least I knew no one would stare at me and judge me, because it was natural to be naked and everyone around the pond was naked. Oh, but I was staring at them. Where else do I get to observe so many random naked bodies in person? In so many shapes, genders, sizes, colors, and ages?

Last month I flew to San Francisco for a camping festival weekend several hours north of the city. It was hosted by a music society, so dance and thumping music were the norm amidst the gardens by day and blazing stars at night. As well, there was a beautiful manmade pond, lotus flowers and all, offering respite from the 95 degree heat. It was around this pond that all the campers were naked. And it was because of this pond that I agreed to go on this trip with some friends.

Most of us are not used to being naked around strangers, and many of us aren’t used to this around friends either. This has always made me feel nervous as my body-image concerns flare up and I worry about being judged for not looking perfect. I decided it was time to tackle this issue head-on when invited to attend the camping trip.

It sounds cliché to say that the experience was freeing…but the experience actually was freeing. I loved the warmth of the sun on my whole body. I loved swimming underwater with no clothing resistance. I really liked being able to just be me in my body with no pretenses. It was a gentle reminder that I’m fine, my body is fine, and that I may as well appreciate and enjoy what my body has to offer because there’s always something for which to be grateful. Although awkward at first, I was calmed by how easy it could be to be around a group of naked folks who were just being who they were. So I was just who I was. And I enjoyed it tremendously.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

Vulva Photography for Me!

If you've seen Session 20 or Session 82 of my podcast show, then you know I'm a big fan of Nick Karras' artistic photography of women's vulvas called Petals. His sepia-toned close-up photos of women's genitals is a powerful tool for me in the classroom and with clients, to show that there is incredible variety in genitals and to learn that we can experience our genitals as beautiful.

I'm happy to report that Nick and his wife Sayaka are working on a Petals II project this summer. This time the photos will be in color, so that they can explicitly be utilized in educational settings (e.g., nursing programs, clinical settings, women's studies classrooms).

AND...I visited them yesterday to have myself photographed as part of their new book! Although I wasn't nervous per se, I certainly felt some initial awkwardness in laying down and spreading my legs for my friends to view, let alone the camera that was about a foot from my vulva. But I was relieved and pleased with how comfortable Nick and Sayaka made the experience because of their matter-of-fact approach to the shoot and their appreciation for female sexuality and empowering women. Within minutes I actually felt quite proud of my vulva and her modeling debut. Even though the experience itself was probably no more than 15 minutes, I really did leave the shoot feeling more empowered through being appreciative of the beauty of my genitals and having unabashedly shared myself for the education and empowerment of others. Pussies unite!

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

Awakening to Sexual Self-Love

With all the images and messages of love in the media this month, why not take the time to awaken to your own sexual self-love? What does that even mean?

I wrote an article for the February Issue of "Vision Magazine" on this topic, while delving into body-image, meditative masturbation, and self-expression. I've posted the beginning of the article here, with the link at the bottom if you would like the read the entire piece.
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Learning to love ourselves can be a challenging task and a long journey. Lying at the core of self-love are the abilities to know ourselves, like ourselves, and appreciate our strengths, while accepting our weaknesses. Expanding self-love into the sexual arena can offer even more avenues for personal growth. Unfortunately for many people, self-love and sexuality are mutually exclusive. Sexuality is often relegated to its own discrete box and does not receive the same knowledge, appreciation, and acceptance as the development of self-love and personal transformation in other areas of our lives.

When expanding self-love to our experiences and meaning around sexuality, it may be easier to first state the opposite of sexual self-love: guilt, shame, embarrassment, disconnection, body-loathing, and lack of knowledge. These emotions and mental states are the result of fear-based learning about sex and sexuality from various sources, such as restrictive religions, embarrassed parents, ignorant teachers, and idealized media images. If you begin with sexual topics where you feel anxiety or discomfort, you can identify where you have opportunity for immediate growth. The areas of body-image, masturbation, and freedom of expression can be a great place to start.
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To read the entire article, please follow this link to Vision Magazine.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

Bodily Pleasures - Swaying to My Own Beat

As I mentioned in an earlier blog about "Spirituality & Sexuality - Why Such a Split," pursuing and experiencing pleasure has gotten a bad rap. It's immature. It's superficial. It's selfish. And oddly enough, for a society with such a focus on individualism, selfishness (particularly for women, I'm wiling to claim) is condemned. Although we are constantly pursuing pleasures of the body, to say that you're doing it for its own sake, as an end in itself, seems to be a problem. This perspective is understandable to some extent, as a hedonistic approach to life could include feeling out of control or mis-prioritizing.

But like so much else, I look to apply a holistic perspective to pleasure and reframe it as a self-nurturing activity. Yesterday I experienced a session of movement therapy with musician and dance/music therapist Draza Jansky. We sat on the floor for awhile, discussing my relationship with my body, my experience of my physical body needing to "catch up" to my emotional and spiritual growth, and what it is to be in tune with and honoring of my body. I then stood with my eyes closed and just moved however I wanted as my friend observed. Despite my expectation of feeling awkward in being watched and my assumption that my inner critic would be full throttle, within minutes I felt peaceful yet inquisitive.

I was curious by my movements. I was appreciative to have the time devoted to a calm and gentle exploration. I was shocked that I felt thoroughly at home in my body and in a rare space of nonjudgment. I forgot I was being watched. How long I moved, swayed, stretched, and expanded, I do not know. What I do know is that I experienced pleasure. Holistic pleasure. I felt mentally and physically energized, emotionally and spiritually peaceful, and socially exempt. I was listening to my inner wisdom. And I was OK in each moment. This holistic pleasure, by way of my physical body, was nurturing and balancing and honoring and freeing. And felt damn good.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego