(Read the previous blog called "What Are Your Sex Buttons?") before reading this follow-up blog :)
The images in Day Two of the SAR (Sexual Attitude Reassessment) definitely challenged me more than Day One. I found it interesting to be mentally and psychologically 'okay' with a sexual act and not morally judgmental of it, but still have a visceral reaction of nausea. I had this reaction when watching a video of a chained-up man in leather having a fist shoved up his ass (gratefully a lot of lube was used!). All my holes wanted to close up tight. I don't doubt that some folks can experience pleasure from such activities; I just realized that I don't have the stomach for it (and probably not the anus, either!).

The next video in this BDSM series starred a young blond woman who was willingly subjected to spankings with resultant welts, and needles through her nipples. She spoke afterwards, through disconnected, starry eyes, about the high she felt from the humiliation of submission and pain. This turned my stomach. In the group processing, I stated my ambivalence of maintaining a very open-minded stance on choice around sexual activities and paths to pleasure, while also integrating my growing understanding of holistic health and body/mind/spirit work (which focuses on balance, self-love, and uncovering layers of consciousness). This is something I will be doing more research on.

Our last topic of the SAR was fantasies. Each member of our small group anonymously wrote: 1) What fantasy they have acted out; 2) What fantasy they would like to act out; and 3) What fantasy they have but do not want to ever act out. Our facilitator read them aloud and despite being anonymous, the fantasies were more tame than I anticipated. Nonetheless, I enjoyed the sense of freedom in witnessing the inner thoughts of my fellow participants. But sorry - I'm not going to share my fantasies here ;)

As a final note, I was lucky enough to have a great small process group, some of whom I have continued to hang out with at the AASECT conference. We have running jokes about fisting, hot tubs, strap-ons, fantasies, and being "professionally aroused." It's great to be in a context where it's quite normal to joke about topics like these!