What are YOUR Sex Buttons?

What pushes your buttons in the sexual realm?
Why? And what meaning does that have for you?

This is the gist of the 2-day SAR (Sexual Attitude Reassessment) I'm attending in New Orleans right now, as a pre-conference seminar at the AASECT annual conference (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, & Therapists). The point is to process our reactions to sexually explicit material so we're better able to serve our clients around a full range of sexual topics. Yes - I'm at sex camp.

Today we watched many videos of women and men masturbating and engaging in various sexual activities -- women with women, men with men, and women with men. After each group of visual clips we jotted down: 1) What did you like/what aroused you? and 2) What was challenging or difficult for you? Then we met in small facilitated groups to process.

I've watched quite a bit of "erotica" in the past for personal interest and professional reasons. I've done this alone, with a partner, and in groups. The "group" viewing today, therefore, did not make me uncomfortable, nor did any of the content. It was just interesting to see what I found more or less arousing. The process group discussions were fascinating, as we joined together from different backgrounds and areas of the country. I think it's always a great experience to speak openly and personally about sex with new people. It challenges my fear of judgment from being vulnerable.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow's sessions because I'm sure I'm going to view something that is personally disturbing that I'll get to feel, dig at, and process. I'm hoping for something that blow my mind and gives me a totally new perspective on something sex-related. I don't even know what that means, but I'm hoping. I've heard in the past that some folks experienced SAR's with showings of child pornography and beastiality. I think I would feel a deep, gut reaction of disgust and horror. I assume that it's illegal to show such things now - particularly child porn.

On a complete side note, I was out with a few friends tonight to a less-touristy part of New Orleans, to hang out in a bar and listen to jazz music. I don't even like jazz, but I like bars, and I like getting a taste of being a local in new cities. For the first time ever, I enjoyed jazz music, and I feel like I got it. The band was so dynamic and entertaining; young musicians walked in off the street, trumpets in tow, to join the band for a song; and it was like the people in the bar and band were one. Sure, that may have been the vodka tonics and Louisiana humidity going to my head... but it was a damn cool experience.