Asking Permission Before a Kiss?

Thu, 12/27/2007 - 1:33pm — Dr. Jenn

Or asking permission before ANY sexual activity? Is this a romantic thing to do or does it ruin the moment? Or is it necessary to be respectful and make sure you're both on the same page with your sexual activity? Simple or complicated...bring your thoughts and experiences to this thread...

Den Chat Topics

Sun, 12/30/2007 - 3:28pm — runningchick

Kissing is Cool

I loved this podcast (#56) for the variety of answers, and realizing that all woman have different levels of comfort and expectations. I think I’d laugh if a guy stopped and asked me first before a kiss – well no, maybe not in the moment, but afterwards I’d surely ask about it since it seems so old-fashioned and quaint to me. Who needs permission when there’s body language between two people indicating what is wanted and acceptable?
If you are a guy and I’m smiling, engaged, leaning in and close my eyes, go for it!

Sun, 12/30/2007 - 4:13pm — freeeeeman

guys don't like signs & hints...

i have to admit, i used to ask permission before i kissed the female, but that was back when i wasn't all that perceptive. i think it'd be good to give guys a break as many women like totally different things and give off totally different signs. having said that, i haven't asked for permission in like 12 years... and i've kissed at least 3 people in that time... :)

maybe take it as a sign of respect if he does?

Sun, 12/30/2007 - 11:51pm — runningchick

don't like signs and hints?

So, what do you mean by that, Freeeeeman? Please give us more details from the male perspective.
Are you suggesting that you want women to be up front about what they want?
Or what do you think about women making the first move and taking all of the pressure off the guys? I've always thought that this takes away the control from the guy and messes with their masculinity?

Fri, 01/04/2008 - 2:39pm — Magic Fingers

What Women Want

Generally speaking women know what men want. << Insert Austin Powers Sound bite here! >> But do men really have a clue as to what women want? Generally speaking again, I would say that is a big, fat no.

So I say yes to women. Speak your minds. It would be nice for women to tell us what they want, when they want it, how they want it, etc. Now whether or not men understand it, remember or even pay attention is all together another problem.

In regards to asking permission before a kiss, everyone is different. I say it is the polite thing to do when you first meet, however, there is s a chemical and emotional high that goes along with becoming intimate with someone new. By asking, that feeling is not as intense. I personally prefer not asking and letting the cards fall where they may.

Magic Fingers

Thu, 01/10/2008 - 11:21am — Spicy Suzy

What makes you so freeeeee?

Baby, does that self-deprecating humor help you with the ladies?

Spicy Suzy
Den Sex-pert

Thu, 01/10/2008 - 11:26am — Spicy Suzy

Oh, Magic Fingers

Is your name just a tease or do you really have dancing digits?

While I'm certainly one who loves to following my instincts and jump in, I don't necessarily agree that the feelings are less intense when asking...it just brings a different level of consciousness and connection to the mix. I think we would agree that women and men tend to approach sexual situations through different frameworks..."letting the cards fall where they may" may just lead to confusion...

Spicy Suzy
Den Sex-pert

Thu, 01/10/2008 - 1:08pm — Magic Fingers

Kissing for Dummies

"Bringing a different level consciousness and connection to the mix'" sounds good on paper, but what does that really mean? That I have approached a relationship and potential partner with respect, therefore deepening our spiritual connection as individuals. What if they are looking for spontaneity and excitement and some hardcore, lip-smacking action, but this was never fully presented in dialogue? Have I been written off because I didn't risk it? Every situation is different and depending on what I learn or know about the woman, asking may be appropriate.

However, getting to know someone before a first kiss, depending on the individual may take time. Dating is not like getting a complete history report from CARFAX, it takes time to learn everything there is to know about someone. I say let the cards fall where they may because I am not afraid to make mistakes or learn from them. Here is my framework, I am a sexual person and I like to kiss. If I am aggressive in not asking permission and she does not like that, then maybe it wasn't meant to be. There are plenty of lip-smacking fish in the sea.

Magic Fingers

Mon, 05/19/2008 - 8:22pm — freeeeeman

i mean...

yes, my dear... the self deprecating humor has worked a total of 3 times now. :)

and w/rt kissing, i think some semblance of perceptiveness on the males part isn't out of order. but far too many times, i'm told, "she said/wrote this, so that means xxxxx". and i'm thinking, "really? was i supposed to pick on up on that?" but i have to agree w/ runningchick. despite all the other signs that we men miss, those presented here should be obvious.

not sure about the masculinity part. while i would be stoked if the female made the first move, i have to acknowledge knowing some dudes who believe in roles and wouldn't be down w/ a female like that... but i think most would be ok with it. so get out there and kiss some men!!!!